(From Draft Magazine, January/February 2011, pgs. 68-71)

A 1937 Ford Slantback Sedan sits under a thin layer of sawdust inside an otherwise immaculate two-car garage in Loveland, Colo. Dustin Nere stands at a workbench, his back turned to the car, stroking an electric sander back and forth over a long, narrow strip of aircraft aluminum.  More than twenty pairs of skis hang on the wall opposite the classic auto. Lined up by age and design, the skis grow shorter, wider, their curvatures changing over time—like a giant evolutionary chart.

At the most evolved end, half a dozen different pairs bear the same name: Hangfire Handcrafted Skis. Just beyond, in the future, wide core blanks of maple and poplar wood rest in a corner, awaiting their maker.

Nere couldn’t wait for natural selection to bring him what he wanted—so he decided to build his own skis instead.

“There was this old issue of Ski magazine that said on the cover, ‘Build your own skis in a weekend,’” Nere says. “I thought, there’s no way you can make a good ski in two days. The idea, though, it got stuck in my head. But I didn’t want to make skis to save money or make money—I just wanted to make something better than I could buy.”

Just like the beer industry, the ski industry has experienced a major transformation in the last twenty years.  The largest manufacturers have gobbled up competitors, merged or assimilated brands, and moved their manufacturing facilities outside of the United States, mostly to Europe and China. Meanwhile, like microbreweries, smaller craft ski builders have emerged in North America to fill the void and sate the diverse tastes of snow sport enthusiasts.

These companies—Donek, Icelantic, Moment, Never Summer, ScottyBob, Venture, and Wagner Custom, just to name a few—manufacture their boards in small batches and sell at moderately higher prices. Some companies, like Icelantic Skis and Never Summer Boards, reduce their costs by sharing manufacturing facilities. To get our attention, most of these companies use unique marketing campaigns, experimental materials, and innovative aesthetic and functional designs.

OK, I know what you’re thinking: Innovation in business is nothing new. Talented individuals work for a company, develop their craft, and then strike out on their own. Idea-filled entrepreneurs design and patent their products, licensing their designs to larger manufacturers. The tastiest little fish are eaten by the bigger fish, which then spawn more little fish. Big deal.

What’s so different about today, you ask? The cycle of innovation no longer feeds upon itself—now anyone, anywhere, can invent the next big thing. Big companies have lost some of their ability to steer the market; the little fish are now driving innovation for the entire industry.

In 2011, if you have creative spirit, basic workshop skills, and an Internet connection, you can learn how to make your own skis or snowboard. Websites like SkiBuilders.com and GrafSnowboards.com serve as online centers for instruction, collaboration, and idea exchange. Ski building materials and tools, once only available to well-vested manufacturers, are now available to anyone via online retailers. SnowboardMaterials.com sells items at every price point: from a single metal ski edge for $4.25 to an entire turn-key ski or snowboard factory kit for $18,500. Videos on YouTube demonstrate the variety of individuals building snow gear, from shaggy teenagers screwing high-top shoes into snowboards of plywood and hot-glued Formica, to experts waxing poetic about die cut presses.

According to SnowSports Industries America, the top five ski manufacturers—Atomic, K2, Rossignol, Salomon, and Volkl—still control 71 percent of the total ski industry market share. But combine the new, fast and affordable prototype-to-production process, a barrier-free digital marketplace, and a young consumer market rabid for that which is different and new, and you have the perfect conditions for small craft and homebrewed ski and snowboard companies to succeed.

In his basement, Nere’s homemade ski press looks like the love child of a medieval torture device and a panini grill made for a party sub.  Bizarre items lie around—a short section of fire hose, a squat air compressor in the closet. Nere explains what is called the layup process to me.

First, he sets out the base layer, metal edges already attached, and adds a coat of waterproof epoxy. He repeats the layer-and-epoxy step eight more times—adding pre-cured fiberglass with Kevlar stringers, Kevlar cloth, the wooden core and sidewalls, more Kevlar, a strip of aircraft aluminum to dampen chatter, more Kevlar, carbon fiber, and yes, more Kevlar. He tops it all with a thin sheet of polycarbonate. When Nere says his skis are “bulletproof,” I know he means it literally.

The firehose and 150-pound press are set on top of the skis. The air compressor fills the firehose to 40 p.s.i., squooshing everything together until the epoxy hardens. Nere removes the skis, trims excess from the edges with a bandsaw, seals and finishes the sidewall, then tunes the ski.

A nearby retailer in Denver, Confluence Kayak and Telemark, now sells Hangfire skis to the general public. “It’s an awkward feeling. This is the first time a total stranger has owned a pair of my skis,” Nere says. To handle this new demand, Nere’s getting rid of the antique car in the garage. “I sold it to a guy in Denmark,” says Nere. “I need to get the ski presses out of the basement. This car was my obsession for nine years, but restoring cars turned into my work. But I’m still having a hoot [making skis]. I don’t want that to change.”

Listening to Nere speak about his hobby, however, it’s hard to imagine his company staying small. His Wisconsin drawl and heavy-lidded eyes make him seem a little sleepy, and he’s prone to saying “I’m not sure how other folks do this,” but he flies through technical talk about torsional flex and wood core profiling faster than I can take it in.

His day job as a period-correct hot rod restoration expert requires extraordinary attention to detail; meticulousness is evident in his craftsmanship. His ski templates are created with CAD software and every measurement accounted for down to the millimeter. In just a few seasons of diligent practice, Nere has developed a ski as good as any large factory in the world can make.

He’s not alone. ExoticSkis.com, an unofficial directory of manufacturers, currently lists 267 independent ski and snowboard builders around the world. The actual number of folks building their own at home is likely many times more.

The late Shane McConkey, extreme skiing and base-jumping legend, is credited with inventing rockered skis—the latest craze in the snow sports world. “Rockered” is a shape in which the tips angle significantly upward like the rails of a rocking chair. As the myth goes, McConkey carried a sketch on a napkin for years, rejected by manufacturers until Volant created a ski model called the Spatula based on his concept in 2001. It was an odd-looking character for its time. Two years later, Atomic Skis acquired Volant and discontinued the line. McConkey took his design to K2 Sports, who in turn created the Pontoon in 2003.

Major manufacturers have been slow to react to the rockered ski trend, including K2, in spite of the Pontoon’s success. Craft ski builders quickly embraced the concept, however, launching it into popularity and gaining new customers along the way. Without them, this new design may have faded into history. Instead, the biggest companies now all offer rockered skis.

For the future, Nere and a handful of others are experimenting with hybrid designs that blend variations of sidecut, rocker and camber, seeking the holy grail—one ski or snowboard for all conditions. Will they find the perfect design? Not likely. But for the 2010-2011 season, K2 introduced their own hybrid-shaped models, showing that they’re on the hunt for the grail, too.

If and when they find it, we all win. And if they don’t? I guess we’ll have to build it ourselves.

“Soak It In” (Click here to download a PDF of the original article)

“25 Breckenridge Faves,” co-written with Irene Thomas (Click here to download a PDF of the original article)

“Babes in the Backcountry” (Click here to download a PDF of the original article)

Soak It In

(appeared on pages 6-7)

In the simmering sanctuary of a mountain hot tub, we confront the elements—and ourselves.

I swear I heard a squeak—like wet balloons rubbing against one another—when the taut-and-toned skin of the two twentysomethings first collided. I was schlepping grocery bags back to my family’s hotel room when I noticed the couple, pressing hard and careless against one another in a hot tub.

The sun was on its final tilt, stretching light long and orange, but dark was still an hour away. Three manorexic college boys nursing cans of cheap beer sat in another tub, also staring, their mouths agape. A circle of prune-skinned seniors softly chuckled and cooed, lightly encouraging the passionate display. The two lovers knit their mouths together, completely unaware of their audience.

There are lots of iconic symbols of life in the mountains: The glow of aspens in the fall. Glittery fresh powder. Pristine mountain streams. Sunshine on your shoulders. Whatever. You want a symbol? I say it’s the hot tub.

Think about it for a moment: Like life in a mountain town, a hot tub is totally decadent with just a hint of dirty. Space and sometimes privacy are limited; germs and gossip spread quickly. It’s okay for children in small doses, but it’s primarily a place made for athletes, adventurous single folks, and successful retirees. It can be difficult to maintain, in both terms of cost and convenience. And even a three-degree temperature change, in either direction, can make the difference between a good day and a bad one.

But we’re not talking Jacuzzis here, the foo-foo indoor cousins of the hot tub. I’m talking the real deal—outdoors, in the ground or on a wooden deck, in the snow. Thick brown foam-and-vinyl insulating covers that burp steam like a new piece of Tupperware. Deep, 1970s cask-barrel-style soakers with benches made of redwood, and those shiny new one-piece, vacuum-formed acrylic models with bucket seats and jets so strong they could knock you over if you weren’t already sitting down.

That’s mountain life’s true baptismal fountain, where we all strip to our skivvies (or less) to confront the elements, one another, and ourselves. It’s the altar at which so many of mountain life’s rites of passage are performed. Maybe that’s why I couldn’t help but stare at the lovers. Seeing them, young and unfettered, filled me with nostalgia for the time in my life when the mountains were my everything—when my beard was big, my winter skin was thick, and I was never treated like a tourist above 9000 feet. Seeing them made me remember the beginning of my love affair with mountain living.

I was a freshman in college; it was my first invitation to stay in a mountain condo. The dozen teenagers that packed into the place on Buffalo Mountain each had their own firsts—some drinking for the first time, some making first-time romantic plans. For me, it was my first trip to Summit County.

The native Colorado kids changed into trunks and bikinis, wrapped themselves in towels, and ambled out to the hot tub across the snow-packed parking lot in bare feet. I wanted to join but I was terrified. In the mind of this New Mexican desert boy, the snow could have been glowing charcoals. But I knew that the hot tub snow walk was an initiation—so I bared my soles to the snow and became someone new. It sealed my sense of belonging, it made me an equal.

Indeed, the circular hot tub is a great equalizer, no one position holding more power than another, making it the perfect place for post-pow-pow powwows. Hot tub poachers climb fences for a free soak while hot tub owners grow bored of their own and hike off in search of backcountry hot springs. Access keys and codes to the best condo hot tubs are coveted, traded and shared in secret like powder stashes. Ever wonder why mountain locals are so friendly to tourists? They want an invitation to one of those big hotel whirlpools downtown.

Ultimately, hot tubs are an apt metaphor for mountain living because they are like us. Let’s face it: Hot tubs and humans are essentially oversized bags of hot water. We aren’t made for below freezing temperatures at 9000 feet. It’s easy to start wondering, especially when you’re sitting outside in a hot tub during a snowstorm, if perhaps maybe we don’t belong here.

But the hot tub, like a mountain town, is supportive. It wraps you in a warm bubble, a lover’s embrace, enabling your survival in the colossal cold. Maybe we don’t make sense here. But as you lean back and look up at the sky, enamored with the peaks around you, watching the snowflakes and steam collide, polar opposites dancing and swirling, accepting one another, it becomes possible to imagine that maybe the mountains love us back. ❄

Babes in the Backcountry

(appeared on pages 38-39, mentioned on cover)

Breckenridge-based outfitter offers outdoor adventure education with a twist.

It’s Saturday night at Francie’s Cabin, a Summit Huts Association cabin five miles south of Breckenridge. The wind outside quietly sculpts wavelike cornices on the rooftop. Inside the cabin a group of women seem to be relaxing, sipping wine, loosely chatting about everything from politics to parenting. In reality, they are learning how to survive in a backcountry emergency.

Leslie Ross, 41, has discovered something profoundly counterintuitive about avalanche and backcountry travel education: Women learn about the topic differently, and safety is as much about trust and comfort as it is technical knowledge. Ross is the founder of Babes in the Backcountry (BIB), a pioneer organization in the women-specific adventure sports industry. Focusing primarily on backcountry travel, telemarking and safety education, BIB offered its first avalanche course twelve years ago. BIB pushed for a shift in avalanche safety education, which Ross says used to exclusively target scientists and snow professionals. To do so, they designed an avy course that’s intuitive, easy to digest, but still meets American Institute for Avalanche Research and Education (AIARE) and American Avalanche Association (AAA) standards.

“We need women to be part of the decision-making process in the backcountry,” says Ross, “for everyone’s sake.” Research would agree, because involving women in backcountry decisions may not only be positive for women—it could save men’s lives. A 2005 study of mountaineers shows men are less able to perceive risk in the mountains when compared to their women counterparts.

BIB’s success parallels a nationwide trend, says Susan Hays, editor at the Boulder-based Women’s Adventure magazine: “Women are showing their purchasing power, and companies are responding to women making their own buying decisions.” Companies realize they can no longer take a product for men and merely shrink it and pink it for female consumers—they now design products that meet the specific needs of women.

BIB winter courses come with perks—they include meals, wine tastings, access to backcountry gear (“Women should have a chance to try things before they buy,” says Ross), even dressing with a little flair on the first night of a multi-day clinic. BIB also incorporates yoga into every course, even avalanche safety, because Ross believes smart choices in the backcountry come from learning how to tune into one’s body, environment, and the traveling group.

Many new courses are open to men, too, and some are specially created for couples. This winter in Colorado, BIB will offer telemark clinics at Arapahoe Basin and Loveland, an introduction to the backcountry course in Breckenridge, and a three-day “Sisters in the Steep” clinic in Silverton. Several other courses will be offered at Lake Tahoe resorts and Sugarbowl in California.

But BIB aspires to do more than simply offer a unique educational product—it brings adventurous women together. “I had no female mentors, only brothers and guy friends. There were few women in the huts. I was asking myself, ‘Where are the women at?’ That’s why we take groups of women to huts, give them an opportunity to get into the backcountry with knowledgeable female guides,” says Ross.

While the occasional birthday, bachelorette party or reunion may fill up a workshop, most women arrive alone or in pairs, which Ross encourages. “A hut trip is a real bonding experience,” says Ross, “and that’s what we’re here for, to provide a place where women can meet other other gals to go out with in the future, women that they are comfortable with and know they can trust.” ❅

For additional information, call 970-453-4060 or visit www.babesinthebackcountry.com.

(From Complete Woman Magazine, October/November 2010, pgs. 11-14)

In the damp, shadowy jungles of New Guinea, deep beneath the rainforest canopy, lives the Superb Bird-of-Paradise. Because females of the species are always in short supply, males must compete fiercely for attention. Every day the crow-like male hops around the forest floor cleaning up his territory—clearing loose twigs, pruning small plants with his beak, even using leaves to scrub tree branches—in preparation for the arrival of a female.

Once his bachelor pad is spotless, he calls into the forest, squawking for love. And finally, on that rare occasion when a female responds to his mating call, he does a dance for her. But we’re not talking some lame two-step here; the male Superb Bird-of-Paradise gets down. He flips a velvety cape of feathers over his head, flares out iridescent-blue feathers on his chest, and transforms himself into this exotic, hypnotic, clicking-and-circling creature that looks like something straight out of Avatar. If he’s lucky, the female sticks around and he gets a little jungle nookie.

Ladies, unless you host your own show on Animal Planet or you’re a female Superb Bird-of-Paradise, I’m betting you’ve never seen a male Superb Bird-of-Paradise in action. But I’m also willing to bet a year’s subscription to Complete Woman that you’ve heard a male human squawk out some ridiculous mating call and watched as he shook his tail feathers to impress you—and that, at least once or twice, you totally fell for it.

When the potential for love, sex or a home-cooked meal is on the line, most men know how to ruffle their feathers to impress a girl. Each guy has his own style, and while some guys are not as good at attracting women as others, they’re all trying. That’s why, with all the showmanship going on, sometimes it’s hard to tell the difference between a date-worthy man and a miserable dud.

Want to know a secret? It’s even harder for a straight married man to understand what makes a date-worthy man, especially one who doesn’t understand why his amazing sexy smart wife ever dated him in the first place. Yes, I’m talking about me.

So, for help, I turned to women—single women, married women, divorced women, old women, young women—and was shocked by what I learned. Some women said (listen up, single guys, if you’re reading this) that almost all men are worthy of one date. “When I was single and looking, I would go out with any man once,” said Elizabeth in Chicago, “whether a guy is date-worthy has more to do with the woman’s philosophy of dating than with any qualities on the part of the guy.”

A few women got specific. “No mama’s boys, because there’s no competing with their mothers,” said TaRhonda in Denver. Rachel in New York wanted “emotional, spiritual, marital and geographical availability.” “Good taste in music is key,” said Wendy in Montreal, and Sandra in Boston said “if you’re not going to be at least a little adventurous when you eat, I don’t want to eat with you.”

But many women said that heterosexuality was the only true limiting factor. And even that didn’t apply for some—Dannah in Oregon said she’d “take a good date with a gay guy over a bad date with a straight guy any day.”  It seemed women weren’t as picky as men think—or at least not willing to admit it.

Next, I stupidly asked men all around the world, “What makes you date worthy?” Over the next 72 hours, dozens of men did the email version of their mating dance for me as if they were entering a “Win a Date with Megan Fox” essay contest. By the end I felt a little dirty, but no closer to knowing the date-worthy male.

Finally, I went out and watched men—at bars, libraries, in grocery store lines—even though my binoculars and safari hat got some dirty looks. I gave silly bird names to different kinds of men (e.g. Huffin Puffins are either grouchy old men or emo kids) when I noticed them, I took note of their mating calls.

Before long, I realized something: there are men whose special mating dance is a reflection of their greatness, and there are impostors pretending to be great men. The trick to finding a date-worthy man is figuring out what you want first—then whether or not he is what he claims to be.

So, without further ado, here’s a field guide to identifying ten different date-worthy types of men and their undatable impostors. I hope it helps you catch a superb bird to bring back to your nest! Good luck, and please, be careful—it’s a jungle out there.

1. SIX-STRINGED STARLING

This man is the classic musician/artist/poet.  Many women find this man particularly attractive because he’s creative and spontaneous, his art is seen as emotional expression, and because his unique view of the world makes for great date conversation. Since this man is sometimes pursued by the Short-Skirted Groupie, he may be best for women that can handle sleeping on a tour bus or don’t mind being only one singer in a chorus of women. PLUMAGE These men can wear almost anything and look good, but leather and tight jeans are especially common. HABITAT On piano benches and pottery wheels, behind guitars and expensive cameras. MATING CALL The nearly irresistible voicemail serenade.

UNDATABLE IMPOSTOR: DUTCH-DINING ALBATROSS This man thinks being an unemployed guitar owner makes him a rock star. Typically exhibits a dangerous combination of entitlement and a false sense of his own talent.  Easily identified by his missing wallet at the end of a meal.

2. PASSIONATE BIRD-OF-PARADISE

This man is the quintessential lover.  His belief in lofty ideals like “true love” and “happily ever after” make him a very desirable date. Sometimes too dramatic and at times smothering, he is best suited for women who like (or need) extra attention. PLUMAGE This man always seems to be holding a bouquet of flowers.  HABITAT Candle-lit dinners, Ferris wheels, between satin sheets. MATING CALL Barry White mixtapes.

UNDATABLE IMPOSTOR: YELLOW-BELLIED BREASTCATCHER This man has only one objective: adding notches to his bedpost. He uses romance as a tool to get you near his tool, and then flies away as soon as you’re not looking.

3. SMOOTH-TONGUED WARBLER

This man possesses the gift of gab. He is date-worthy because he’s extremely good at carrying a conversation, telling a story, making you feel comfortable with his words. Since he sometimes has a problem with turning off his mouth, he is best suited for women that A) like to listen, B) are strong enough to butt in, or C) know ways to keep his mouth occupied. PLUMAGE Varies—it’s all about the beak on this one. HABITAT Often found at dinner parties, leading volunteer groups, on Wall Street. MATING CALL “Enough about me. Tell me about you.”

UNDATABLE IMPOSTOR: LONG-WINDED BABBLER This man loves the sound of his own voice and has no true desire to listen to anyone else. Can be easily be identified by the bored faces of people around him.

4. ROCK-CHESTED WOODPECKER

This man is one of the most desirable to women. Healthy, athletic and often handsome, these men prove their date-worthiness through their physique—it represents their pursuit of personal excellence and their ability to maintain a commitment. They are best suited for women who can keep up with their active lifestyle, won’t mind the looks he’s getting from other women, and can handle his exceptional, ahem, stamina. PLUMAGE Easily identified by their chiseled pectoral muscles, biceps and six-pack abs. HABITAT Typically found at gyms, near beach volleyball nets and in Complete Woman photo shoots.  MATING CALL Whenever a desirable woman appears, he removes his shirt.

UNDATABLE IMPOSTOR: THICK-NECKED PEACOCK This self-obsessed man cares only about making himself larger in order to dominate women. Can often be identified by his freaky fake-bake orange skin and giant steroid-swollen head.

5. SILVER-TIPPED FALCON

This man is characterized by his older age, calm demeanor and unflappable self-confidence. His wealth of experience, his old school charm, and his willingness to listen can make him a very date-worthy man. PLUMAGE Sometimes his distinct silver hair is a giveaway, but is most easily identified by crow’s feet wrinkles in the corners of his eyes from years of laughing and smiling. HABITAT Anywhere with a low fixed-rate mortgage. MATING CALL He asks you out on a date without playing games in the process.

UNDATABLE IMPOSTOR: GRAY-TUFTED COOT This man is bitter from divorce or remaining single longer than he had hoped. Can be distinguished by a constant grumbling sound when discussing past relationships, women in general, or “kids these days.”

6. WITTY LOON

This man knows how to have a good time.  For many women, this man’s sense of humor ranks at the top of their priority list—so much, in fact, that his looks are less important than some of his other male counterparts. He’s ideal for women that like to take a light-hearted approach to life and can accept his occasional reluctance to get serious. PLUMAGE Varies wildly, occasionally includes a colored wig or foam-rubber nose. HABITAT Costume parties, comedy club open mike nights, the center of attention. MATING CALL When he repeats one of your jokes to his friends.

UNDATABLE IMPOSTOR: DOUBLE-FACED CUCKOO This man seems like a lot of fun at first, but soon reveals more personalities than the United States of Tara. Easily identified by his constant laughing and crying and laughing and crying.

7. WEB-WEAVING TWITTERBIRD

This tech-savvy man is well connected and typically progressive in his attitudes toward women. He makes a great date because he finds all the newest hotspots, the best restaurants, and seems to know people everywhere he goes. He’s best for women who aren’t afraid to change their Facebook relationship status. PLUMAGE Smartphone and a laptop. HABITAT Anywhere with free wifi. MATING CALL “Text me.”

UNDATABLE IMPOSTOR: PASTY-SKINNED CODECRACKER. This man thinks his Second Life is more important than his first one. He is quickly identified by mentioning World of Warcraft in the first fifteen minutes of meeting, or explaining why The Matrix is a true story.

8. DARK-WINGED JACKSPARROW

This man is, well, Johnny Depp. Often quiet and sometimes a little odd, this man is date-worthy because every woman likes to solve a good mystery—and because deep down, he wants someone to share his secrets. Because he’s prone to secrecy, however, he’s ideal for women who are either don’t need to know everything or really know how to make him squeal. PLUMAGE Black, sunglasses, and from time to time, mascara. HABITAT Jazz clubs, shadows. MATING CALL Silence, followed by piercing, passionate stares.

UNDATABLE IMPOSTORS: SOLITARY CREEPER This man is often emotionally disturbed, sometimes from bad past relationships with women. Easily characterized by his frequently mumbling about how much he wishes he could strangle his ex-girlfriend, refusing to tell you his last name, or his big creepy van.

9. LADDER-CLIMBING GOLDFINCH

This man is successful and has begun to reap the rewards of his hard work. He makes a great date because he exudes confidence, he’s generous, and often knows what he wants. Because he cares about his career, he is probably best for women that have careers or interests of their own—and don’t mind late-night Chinese take out dates in an office. PLUMAGE Varies with age, but typically includes a wool sport coat, a silk tie, and a Blackberry. HABITAT Corporate boardrooms, benefit dinners, black-tie affairs. MATING CALL “Here’s my card.”

UNDATABLE IMPOSTOR: GREEN-GRUBBING VULTURE This man is dangerously obsessed with getting rich, tends to see relationships as business transactions, and can be cheap to a fault. Often identified by his fake Rolex and expensive European car on a short-term lease.

10. NOMADIC ROADRUNNER

This man loves adventure and excitement. He makes a great date because he is spontaneous, has interesting stories to tell and feels passionately about the world around him. Because he’s prone to roaming, this man is best for women that have their backpacks already loaded or don’t mind being alone from time to time. PLUMAGE Often identified by their beards, Gore-Tex outerwear, hiking boots. HABITAT Typically found in foreign countries, on cliff faces or mountaintops, paddling ocean kayaks.  MATING CALL “Hey, you ever been to Nepal?”

UNDATABLE IMPOSTOR: WANDERING SNIPE This man can’t stay in the same place for more than five minutes. What you think is spontaneity is actually ADHD and compulsive thrill-seeking. Can be easily distinguished by the fact that he’s in another country right now and can’t remember your name.

Click here for a PDF of the original article.

(from Backpacker Magazine, June 2010, page 52)

Beat Pack Strain

Hauling a heavy load can do a number on the neck, back, and hips. Stay pain-free with these tips.

By Ron S. Doyle

PROBLEM Neck pain Leaning forward against a pack‘s shoulder straps pulls your head into an abnormal forward posture (aka turtle necking), which can cause neck strain, headaches, and impaired balance.

>> Solution Keep your head back and lead with your chest to take pressure off the neck. Also, adjust the pack’s load-lifter straps to 45 degrees. “At lower angles, the top of the pack pulls backward,” says Jason Klimpke, a pack-fitting expert at REI’s Denver, Colorado store.

PROBLEM Tingling fingers A 2007 University of California, San Diego study found that packs weighing as little as 26 pounds can significantly reduce blood flow to your arms, which can be painful, impair fine motor skills, and increase fatigue, and chill hands in the winter.

>> Solution Adjust the pack’s fit to place more weight on your hips. Also, raise your sternum strap just above armpit height, and tighten it to pull the shoulder straps inward, relieving pressure on the shoulder’s axillary vein, says Klimpke. As you hike, pull the straps away from your shoulders with your thumbs for as long as necessary.

PROBLEM Lower back and hip pain Loads weighing just 10 percent of your body weight can compress your lumbar spinal discs, according to a 2008 study in which MRI scans were taken of people wearing a pack.  That two-week hike you’ve planned may only cause some muscle soreness and nerve irritation, but decades of toting an ill-fitting pack can lead to disc compression, degenerative disease, and chronic pain.

>> Solution Make sure your hipbelt sits right on your iliac crest (the top of your hip bones). The pack’s stays (the vertical bars of the internal frame) should curve with your spine without pressing into your sacrum, and the lumbar pad should rest gently against your lower back. A professional stay-bending, which many stores will do for free, can adjust for this. Pre- and posthike stretching also helps: Stand with your feet hip-width apart and fold forward, keeping your torso straight. Rest your palms on the ground beside your feet. Bend your knees if you feel any discomfort of hamstring pain.

Click here for a PDF of the original article, which ran as a supplement to my feature story, “What is he thinking?!”

Getting Intimate with Sex and the City 2’s Max Ryan

English-born Max Ryan plays Rikard, a hunky European architect who crosses paths with Samantha Jones in the upcoming Sex & The City 2, in theaters this May. The role is a major departure from Ryan’s previous roles in action films such as Kiss of the Dragon, The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, and Death Race. We caught up with Ryan (who you can learn more about at www.maxryan.eu or follow on Twitter at www.twitter.com/MrMaxRyan) for his thoughts on family, career, and relationships.

On his first crush. “Her name was Lisa and I was probably about eight years old. She had long brown hair. We kind of became boyfriend and girlfriend, but at that age, what is it? It was my first love and it was fantastic, you know, cute and innocent and we never really knew what was going on between the pair of us.”

On being cast in Sex and the City 2. I wanted to do something different, like a romantic comedy, instead of being killed or playing these really heavy, nasty characters. That’s not really me—I’m really an uplifting, smiley person. So when my manager came to me with Sex and the City 2, I just said, ‘Okay!’ The rest is history.”

On his family’s reaction to the news. “My mother was absolutely freaking out, loving it. When we were shooting the movie, I brought my parents over to visit. When the customs officer asked “Why are you here in the United States?” my mother said proudly, “Well, our son is in Sex and the City,” and the customs officer started telling everyone. Soon the entire American customs area was cheering for them—it was just incredible.”

On working with the SATC2 cast and creating his character, Rikard. “The ladies have been doing this for years, they have their characters down, and there’s a lot of force there to be reckoned with, so it was a challenge. It certainly wasn’t easy. But when I read the lines written by Mr. King (director Michael Patrick King), my personality really came through. I think it all came together to create something unique.”

On Sex and the City’s portrayal of relationships between men and women. “Since I’ve been watching Sex and the City, it’s actually made me more intuitive about the opposite sex. It’s helped me personally in my own life and if you want to get deep about it, I think it‘s saved a lot of relationships. I believe all men should watch and learn how a woman ticks. It’s really true to life.”

How he describes his Complete Woman. “Best friend, great lover, great mother, loves animals, and a lot of patience. A lot of patience. [laughs] I’m like any man, I adore women. I think behind every good man there’s a very, very strong woman. A man needs a woman to help him keep on track, help him through the good, bad and the ugly. I think I’ve had that and I blew it. You know, I’m 43 and I’ve missed a few opportunities. If I’d watched Sex and the City sooner I think I’d be married by now.”

How women he’s dated would describe him. “It depends on what era of my life. [laughs] I would say motivated, focused, but I may have some kind of attention disorder when focusing my energies on a relationship. I think most of the women I’ve dated left me because I’ve been careless to some degree. When you’re an actor, and building your career, there are a lot of sacrifices you have to make. But I think it’s going to be really interesting to see what happens next in my personal life.”

Click here for a PDF of the original article, including an interview with Sex & The City 2′s Max Ryan.

What is he (really) thinking?!

Women have long gotten a bad rap as being difficult to decipher, but, if you ask us, men can be just as baffling! Luckily for you, we present a view from a true-blue guy into the male mind at 10 crucial relationship stages.

By Ron S. Doyle

By all indications of what I saw in the shower this morning, I am definitely a man. I should know how men think. Apparently, however, I’m a different sort of man, because I’ve recently been called a traitor for revealing male secrets to women (thanks for publishing that past article, Complete Woman). And because, to tell the truth, I just learned I don’t have a clue what other men were thinking.

Here’s what I assumed: there are two major types of men, those who think too much and those who think too little. The thinkers consist of those paralyzed by anxiety and those who always have a plan; in other words, they are the control freaks who run our world. The non-thinkers, in contrast, jump into life headfirst and depend on a testosterone-infused cocktail of courage and charisma to get through it; they are my buddies from college on a bender.

After spending several weeks interviewing men, however, I discovered it’s far more complicated when relationships enter the equation. You wind up with this freaky form of Cognitive Calculus where anything can happen—the non-thinkers start overanalyzing before doing something impulsive and the thinkers leaving rambling voicemails at 3 a.m.

The point? Men think more than I thought—and I was therefore totally stumped.

I was ready to throw in the towel when my friend Frank, a graphic illustrator, shared his own theory on the matter. Frank claims what men think about relationships (or don’t) depends entirely on what they want from the women involved. Frank even defined three categories of women for me: “Permanent Pursuits,” “Friends with Benefits,” and “Hot and Wild,” which sounded more to me like a barbecue sauce than a female archetype.

Believe it or not, Frank is onto something. Tufts University psychologist R.J. Sternberg says all love relationships are built from three basic components that line up perfectly with Frank‘s categories: commitment, intimacy, and passion. Different combinations of these three components create different kinds of relationships—and for men, each relationship results in a different way of thinking.

So, without further ado, here’s a look into the minds of men at ten different relationship stages. See if you can figure out which men are seeking commitment and which only want passion! Some of the names have been changed to protect the innocent, embarrassed, and deserving of pity.

1. He reaches out for the first time. Here’s the first time when men really start thinking about those three categories—commitment, intimacy, passion—and how you might fit into them. A few men claimed to have no expectations; their first contact was purely platonic. But Lorne, 45, says men think about two things, sometimes both simultaneously, when they first reach out to a woman: “the prospects of a mutually supportive, interesting, exciting, supportive relationship” and, alternately, “getting laid.”
2. You kiss for the first time. Maybe reruns of Sleeping Beauty on The Disney Channel are having an effect on men; many hold surprisingly romantic notions about the first kiss. And some men consider the first kiss as a final grade on the evening, while still others treat it like a final exam. In other words, there’s a lot of pressure to make the first kiss a good one. The Experience Project, an online community where folks share their life experiences anonymously, is filled with stories of men regretting the outcome of their first kisses. With so much pressure placed on such a small moment, it’s no surprise so many men said they think a little liquid courage (read: a margarita or three) helps them stop constantly wondering and worrying if they have spinach in their teeth.
3. You have sex for the first time. Perhaps all those jokes about “diverted blood flow” are more accurate than we realize, since not one man could not give me a straight answer on what they’re thinking when they first hop in the sack. As best as I could gather, it’s a scrambled hodgepodge of excitement and terror, a desire to have orgasms and successfully give them, and the whole mess is smothered with their own personal kinks. Complicating matters more, some men intentionally try to think about anything but sex (work, cars, golf, you name it), using mental distraction as way to improve sexual stamina. The end result? A man’s inner monologue during your first sexual encounter with them might sound like someone with Tourette Syndrome winning the lottery—or a golf announcer being tickled by strippers.
4. You cry in front of him. Female tears put male senses on red alert—their brains start screaming, “She’s sprung a leak, Captain! Quickly, do something before we all drown!” Sometimes, however, men think your tears are fake, and those warning signals become about you, not what made you cry. Gary, a 24 year old from Luton, England, says “Even if her tears are not genuine, comforting her is the right thing to do, because she may be trying to see how much I actually care.” Karl, a 27-year-old stock broker from New York had a less compassionate outlook: “I view this as major weakness and an attempt to manipulate me. I hate it and if it’s really early [in the relationship] I lose all true interest and will not take her seriously.”
5. He doesn’t call. Lorne confessed that when a man says “I was too busy to call,” it’s probably code for “I’m not that interested.” Other men gave me so many excuses (some legitimate, some questionable) that I felt like a school teacher asking for last night’s homework. I was holding my breath, waiting to hear someone say “It’s not my fault! My dog ate her phone number!” A surprising number of men, however, revealed that they’re not calling on purpose, as a test. Karl says “I will not call to observe a girl’s behavior. Will she call me? Will she go nuts and call 50 times? I give it a few days or so before I respond. It shows me if she’s needy and unstable.”
6. He meets your parents and friends. Often men are thrown off-guard from being paraded around, thinking they must defend themselves from judgment (“I am not a creature in a zoo!” says Gary). But more often they’re asking themselves questions like, “Could I be friends with these people?“ and sometimes, according to a few brutally honest men, “Could I sleep with any of her friends?”  Most often of all? They’re judging too, sizing up your father in the event of a nasty breakup, and then checking out your mother, wondering if you (and your waistline) will someday look just like her.
7. You discuss the future. While there was certainly a group of boys who didn’t seem prepared to talk engagement, marriage and children with a woman, most men I interviewed seemed comfortable with thinking about the future. “If we’re talking about the future, I’m in it with you,” said Lorne. Almost every man who wanted to talk about the future, however, naively pictured marriage and family as enhancements to their current life, instead of a replacement for it. As a married man with two daughters, I kept my mouth shut about the truth; you can thank me later.
8. You have your first fight. When that first major disagreement arises, my friend Frank says a committed man’s mind takes a short journey, starting out at “What is wrong with her?” making a quick pit stop at “I have to fix this,“ and finally arriving at “I’ll just say I was wrong.” Derrick, 39, from Columbus, Georgia, says of his first fight, “She had her first fight. I just listened and kept the conversation moving.”  And Lorne wondered, “How soon until we have make-up sex?”
9. 9. He cheats on you. When men talk about their past affairs, there’s a tendency to deny any thought involved (“I wasn’t thinking”) or to diminish its importance (“It was just sex”). But remember what I said about men’s thoughts when they have sex for the first time? The cheating mind is no different. Their thought processes are on overdrive, first reveling in their naughty behavior, then planning alibis, and for many, finally psychologically flogging themselves with guilt. Frank says, “Regardless of how it happens, eventually you come to one big, understated word resonating through your head—Oops.”

10.  You move in together. Brad Berkowitz, author of The 21^st Century Guide to Bachelorhood (iUniverse, $12.95), offered me a comprehensive list of all the negative thoughts filling the minds of many men: “Moving in together will be a big adjustment. I will have less personal space. I will have less closet space. I will see my friends less often. I will have less free time. She will talk too much. She will continuously ask me questions when I want to watch football. She will take 80% of the bathroom space. She will not understand the ways guys think.”

In the end, despite all their fears, occasionally misguided ideas, and sex-scrambled attitudes, and despite the overwhelming evidence that men think differently that women, men remained optimistic, and the overwhelming majority reported that they truly wanted the same things as women—a secure relationship, an intimate connection, and long-lasting passion. Which makes me wonder—if we all want the same thing, does it really matter if we understand what the opposite sex thinks about it along the way? Probably not. But it’s still nice to try.

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Ten Things Men Keep Quiet

He’s Keeping Secrets From Us—But Not Necessarily What We Think (Or Fear)! One Man Braves His Peers To Give Us The Lowdown.

By Ron S. Doyle

I was kicked out of the Man Club three days ago, via anonymous email, because I announced that I’m revealing secrets men keep to a popular women’s magazine. The man who wrote the email got right to the point: “You’re an effing traitor, man.” Needless to say, it’s been a rough couple of weeks for me.

While I fit some stereotypical “man” traits (I pee standing up and think monkeys are hilarious) I’m also a writer—it’s in my blood to blab. Therefore, I don’t fully understand why some men keep so quiet.
Since I possess the wrong set of genitals to be a mind reader, I turned to men I’ve known since college, prodding them over several days while we wrenched on bikes, drank homemade beer, and played shirtless volleyball in the park like a much-less-oily version of that scene from Top Gun. I‘d ask, “So, what do you keep secret from women?” They’d shrug and occasionally grunt.

I even interrogated inebriated strangers in a crowded bar during last call, hoping a dose of liquid courage would get them to share. I received plenty of threatening glances from my neighbors at the urinals, but very little information.

Finally, using the magical powers of the 21st century, I started bugging men on the internet. Stories slowly trickled in—and at the last moment, a few of my buddies gave up the goods. Frank, a 36-year-old network administrator in Fullerton, Calif. said, “When it comes to women, what you say can and will be held against you, so I reserve my right to be silent.” Most men, however, really opened up.

So, without further ado, here are ten things that men keep quiet. Some of the names have been changed to protect the innocent, embarrassed, and moderately cowardly.

1. When we’re feeling fat. Men avoid words like “bloated,“ but we worry as much as any woman about the width of our posterior (or the size of our chest). Dr. Douglas Steinbrech, a plastic surgeon in Manhattan, says men visit him for Botox, chin implants, and liposuction—but hide it from colleagues, wives and girlfriends. “Sometimes they hide it because of the cost, but usually they are just a little shy about it,” says Steinbrech. Men are taught that displays of insecurity or weakness, in any form, will hurt our image. The end result? We not only keep quiet when we‘ve had a manicure, but also when we have a miserable case of Montezuma’s Revenge or dislocated our shoulder ice skating on a date with you.

2.  When we’re lost. Scientific research has knocked men off their smarty-pants pedestal—intellectually speaking, men and women are undeniable equals. In the Brain Olympics, however, science still awards men the gold medal for spatial reasoning. Yes, in map reading and assembling IKEA furniture, men are slightly better. Since we’re supposed to be good at navigation (and we’re viciously proud of it), many men stay quiet when they‘re lost. My buddy Jon, a 30-year-old auditor in Denver, says men keep quiet because, “We’re never lost. We’re just learning a new route. We’re studying street signs, landmarks, and minding the cardinal direction we’re heading. Keeping all this together is a strenuous exercise—engaging in a conversation would distract from the task.”

3.  When we’re broke. Ken Solin, author of The Key to the Men’s Room: What Men Talk About When Women Aren’t Around, says men often connect their self worth to their net worth. Solin shared the story of one man who (despite being a good husband, father, and all-around nice guy), felt like a complete failure in life when he lost his job to an outsourced employee. After generations of being judged by their wealth and status, some men still feel the need to buy flashy cars, drink expensive Scotch, and hide negative balances on their bank statements.

4.  When we’re dating someone else. Truthfully, men don’t talk about current or past relationships because we don’t want to make you feel insecure. George, a marketing executive in Toronto, says, “I hate it when my wife asks me about my previous girlfriends, especially about what they were like in bed—and who was the best? That’s private between me and them, and I’m very uncomfortable talking about it. When I do say anything, she immediately becomes defensive and starts to trash-talk my previous girlfriends. The lesson? Keep my silence about previous women, and keep the peace.”

5. When we fantasize about celebs or flirt with other women. While I would have amputated my left arm for three minutes with Cindy Crawford in high school, the celebrity fantasy game played by many men doesn’t interest me. I flirt, however, with anything that moves. Why? Many men in relationships don’t consider friendly co-ed interaction as official flirting because there’s no intent (nor pressure) to convert the conversation into something more serious. Therefore, we keep quiet for two main reasons: 1) we didn’t recognize our behavior as flirting or 2) we know it hurts your feelings.

6. When we’re Googling you. Sorry ladies, not one man would admit to going online for info about a woman, unless they met the woman online. Mauricio, a real estate entrepreneur in Miami, admitted to snooping, but wouldn’t confess more. My buddy Fred (who sends emails from Europe like “Went paint balling in Slovenia today” or “The girls in the photos picked us up. Dutch women love Americans.”) says men only Google women because we’re “looking for naked pictures of you.” For men, however, Googling a woman is the Web 2.0 equivalent of looking in your medicine cabinet—or reading your diary—so believe me, it’s happening.

7. When women hurt our feelings. Boys do cry, but society tells us that it’s not okay, so many of us compensate by avoiding emotional situations altogether. When we can’t avoid being hurt, we cover our wounds quickly. Brandon, 34, says “My feelings don’t get hurt often, but when they do, it really hurts. I’d just as soon avoid that experience again. If I’m hurt and I don’t say anything, (women) can’t bring it up in the future to hurt me again. I’ve learned from that mistake.”

8. When we’re afraid you won’t commit. Some men are convinced that great women (who are actually interested in them) are a rare, endangered species. Any sudden moves and you’ll dart off into the rainforest, never to be seen again. Other times, men maintain a silent façade because they’re paralyzed by a past painful rejection. Solin told me about another man who was “unceremoniously dumped by a woman just before he asked her to marry.” The man shoved the pain deep into his psyche and swore he’d never get hurt again. Ironically, women see men in this holding pattern, and assume it’s because they don’t want to commit. Both sexes end up standing, staring, and going nowhere.

9. When we’re feeling really kinky. Men don’t think about sex every seven seconds—that’s a myth—except perhaps during a few terrifying weeks of puberty. But, when a man’s imagination does wander into the bedroom, it sometimes moves promptly back out of the bedroom, into the kitchen, inexplicably holds up a jar of mayonnaise and tells us to love you like a sandwich, whatever that means. Fred insists that the limits of his erotic imagination are “only confined by the law”—and that’s because he’s a law student—in Amsterdam. As Jon says, “I don’t share really kinky fantasies because I think she’ll think I’m weird. Not weird like vanilla flavoring in cola, but weird like she’ll get a 100-yard restraining order put on me.”

10. When we’re just not feeling it at all. A professional ballroom dancer (who asked to be called X) says “Every woman wants to feel like the royal shizzle in bed, but in reality one woman, the same one, will never complete a man’s hunger for great sex.“ While X’s sentiments may resonate with some men, many revealed that male libidos are far more complicated—we worry frequently that we can’t satisfy you, that we aren’t, ahem, “big” enough, or that you‘ll notice the cobwebs on our bedroom ceiling. The most common answer? Men keep quiet when we’re not in the mood because we know women do the same for us—believe it or not, we’re returning the favor.

So, why do we keep quiet? For the record, not all men keep quiet: my college buddy Justin, for example, is really terrible at keeping his mouth shut. His wife says she wishes he would keep quiet more often—especially regarding #1, #5, and #8.

In fact, most men told me that they keep quiet out of respect for women. Whether they’re hunting for your birthday on Facebook, daydreaming about Scarlet Johansson (or you in a tub of butterscotch pudding with Scarlet Johansson), dealing with painful memories of an ex, or measuring their manhood against Johnny Depp and Donald Trump, men shut their traps partially out of pride, but mostly to keep their relationships running smoothly.

Moreover, many women confirm that they keep quiet on these topics too, proving that we’re not so different after all. And that’s a good thing—since I’ve been kicked out of the Man Club, I’m wondering if the Woman’s Club is accepting applications.